A full book review of "Keep Me Afloat" by Jennifer Gold.
'Keep Me Afloat' is an achingly intense, emotional novel about love, second-chances, and self discovery. It is a poignant, beautifully written story that will tug at your heart strings more than once and leave you with tears in your eyes.
As a marine biologist focused on studying humpback whales, Abby Fisher has finally built the career of her dreams - until her research program runs out of funding, and she is once again living in limbo. When she accidentally comes across a powerful memory from her past, she impulsively decides to put her career on pause as she returns to the sanctuary of the very home she fled from five years earlier. But when she arrives, she realises that she has to face the past in order to finally move on. As she re-lives her painful memories and the events that led up to them, Abby cannot seem to move beyond her guilt and forgive herself for the mistakes she made five years ago. To make matters worse, those she hurt years ago cannot seem to forgive her either.
'Keep Me Afloat' is a moving, heart-wrenching story that begs the question: How can you expect forgiveness from others if you can’t even forgive yourself?
*Please note the section below contains spoilers*
As soon as I finished reading 'Keep Me Afloat', I knew from the ache in my heart and the tears streaming down my face that it would be one of my favourite books, not only of 2019 but of all time. It was an incredibly intense, touching story about finding forgiveness in yourself and accepting the happiness you so deserve. Gold did a beautiful job of emotionally connecting us to the characters and the story - I was dying (no pun intended) to know what happened between Abby and Dennis, and in what way Eli was involved. The whole time, I was anxiously waiting for the moment in which they would meet again - only to be utterly devastated and heart-broken to learn he had passed away, and the circumstances in which it happened. With this new revelation, all the pieces of the puzzle came together and we could finally understand Abby's journey - from running away from the painful memories, to coming back home to grieve, accept, and move on - and the full extent of her struggle.
I admired Abby so much as a character; her strength in opening up old wounds and finally putting them to rest, her perseverance in fighting for what she truly wants and believes in, and her forgiveness in herself and all the decisions that led her to where she is today. It's not an easy journey to take on, but she was able to do, learn, and grow from it.
“ Tucking my hands into the sleeves of my sweatshirt, I talk to Dennis all night, until the dampness of dawn has chilled me to the core. When I finally lift my head, the morning has broken. Pastel light pushes against the night as I walk back to my car. The other visitor is long gone. Like the lightening horizon, I have split wide open."
I didn't know what to feel about Dennis - I found him endearing as a teenager and loved him as her boyfriend, but was unsure of him as a husband. I wished he had been more supportive in her career as a marine biologist and in-tune of her emotions, but at the same time, it was clear how much he loved and adored her. I was expecting the end of the book to be a reunion between Abby and Dennis, and was secretly rooting for that - needless to say, I was heartbroken to learn they would never be together again. On the plus side, I thought it was refreshing to have Abby pursue a relationship with Zack (who I originally thought was a significantly older), as opposed to Eli, and truly cemented her love for Dennis even during the hard times.
In terms of the other secondary characters, Chrissy and Nick were by far my favourites! They were a hilarious, fun couple who were the perfect support system for Abby but who also told her the hard truths when she needed it. I loved them not only as Abby's best friends, but as their own characters as well. I would love to read a spin-off novel on them and how their relationship formed!
As a whole, 'Keep Me Afloat' was a moving, tear-jerker of a novel that I could read time and time again. Even better - Jennifer Gold is definitely one of my new favourite authors (I only wish she had more books already published that I could binge on) and I'm excited to see what she has in store for us next! A must-read for book-lovers of any kind!